Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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