she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
