I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
