8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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