I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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