Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
