i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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