He asked me if I "almost moaned"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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