Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize