My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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