I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
