New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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