How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
