he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Houston, we have a blender
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
