no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
