Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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