Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
