he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
