just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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