to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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