marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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