Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
