careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
