sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have feelings that need drinking.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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