the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
