I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
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I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i believe in u and ur pee
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