Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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