I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
