She is in my trunk
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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