that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
