So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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