I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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