I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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