Im at strip club and am horny
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
