My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well I just put wine in my tea
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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