I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Are we still banned from the library?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
