He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
