i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
