just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if only i could text you this smell
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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