If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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