Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Less talking, more tequila
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
