...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
