Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
