I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
