who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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