i think i scared a bird with my dick
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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