I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
