I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize