No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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