Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
