I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
