Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
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okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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