the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
