4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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