a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I enjoy the company of your penis
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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