i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize