Can i not drive my cunt home
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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