Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
