Can Purell be used as lube?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
