I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
