I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
