Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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