so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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