You're so nebulous sometimes
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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