whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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