it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
