Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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