If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
