The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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